TGATP’s Take On for 6/1/10: Death Never Takes A Right Proper Holiday

(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

My mother’s second husband (I call him such, as by his own doing, he remained somewhat of a stranger to me and my siblings and was more her “husband” than our “stepdad”), Macon Sales made his exit from our realm this past week.  He, unfortunately picked what could possibly be the worse time possible to do so, as it was the Tuesday before the Memorial Day weekend, which next to Christmas, is one of out biggest holidays!  So I am issuing a mandate:

If you are elderly and feel like you just have to ascend, please do not do so within 14 days of a holiday weekend!  Travel companies are greed mongers at the best of times.  But during holidays they become like Smiegel lusting after the Ring – except the ring is your friends and family’s hard earned unemployment check!   The normal Jet Blue price for a roundtrip ticket from NYC to my Mom’s house in Virginia is approximately $142 roundtrip with taxes.  However, this past weekend, the cheapest roundtrip was $480 a staggering 300 percent markup!

Holidays include, but are not limited to:  dates with hotties, the opening of any film that features a sex scene, however short, with Hugh Jackman, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Gilles Marini, or Johnny Depp, the Oscars NY, London, Paris or Milan Fashion Weeks, the World Series (if the Yankees are in it), and Superbowl Sundays (if the Giants or Jets are in it), the re-election of Barack Obama, and the second coming of Christ!  No one should be expected to attend any funerals within 14 days before or after these events.

On the serious side, the passing of anyone in my Life is always a time for reflection and I feel sad for different reasons with each light’s extinction.  This time, I felt the distinct feeling of  being a virtual stranger to the deceased.  As the various friends and family members spoke of Macon, I wished that I had experienced him in the same delightful way that they had.  We often think of the things that we didn’t say or experience with someone when they pass.  I cried, not simply for his loss or the fact that he was gone now.  My sadness was more due to the fact that the man that these people were describing had never even been present in my Life.

On to the week’s events:

The Sarah Ferguson scandal was the talk of the week!  When I originally heard about this, I felt that it was an embarrassing stain on the Royal Family that they didn’t provide for her more adequately.  She is, after all, still the vessel through which two princesses came into the world and she should’ve been set for Life for that alone!  It’s not as if they are in anyway lacking in resources.  I felt that, surely, she should not have been reduced to being dressed like a fish wife and drunkenly arranging bribes.

But she lost me with this the Oprah interview!  Really, what could she have been thinking!  She doesn’t have a lick of sense!  To actually commit this sort of pimping of the royal family and then to come to the US then sit down with Oprah and blatantly LIE throughout the interview was just the height of arrogance!  The falsehoods were fast and furious and fooled no one.  First there was the claim that she had never seen the video!  Of course, she has seen it repeatedly!  She has ADVISERS, who would’ve made sure she was aware of what was on the video the minute it was released.  Then came the obvious lie that she needed the money “for a friend”!  I mean really, does she really think we Americans are that gullible?  The friend line is the oldest smokescreen in the liar’s book.  From there Sarah moved on to disassociating herself from the whole incident by referring to herself repeatedly in the third person!  While watching the video she kept muttering, “Poor girl,” as if she was watching someone else.  She then resorted to the annoying ploy of discussing “Sarah” as if she was not talking about herself!  The final insult was for her to spout the completely unbelievable story that she had never done anything like this before.  But obviously, this was not a one time lapse in judgment.  The reporters at the News of the World obviously received a tip that she was open to bribes to even stage this sort of sting. I also cringed when she tried to channel Princess Diana and claim that she felt best and learned the most when working with children like “little Mohammad”!  Inevitably there were tears, all be it, very brief.   How pathetically insincere and horribly sorted!  How dare she think she can American’s intelligence in this way!  At least, Sarah is lucky that it is 2010.  Had she pulled this stunt back in the 1500’s, it all would’ve ended with her head in a bucket!

And it is very unrealistic for her to think that Americans will necessarily be any more sympathetic than the English, especially if she keeps slinging this load of bull!  The American hoi polloi were only interested in her while she was royalty.  The smart route for her now is to check into Promises and then do charity work around alcohol and substance abuse.  Only THEN should try to re-invent herself in the States.  However, she may have ruined any chance she had for redemption with this Oprah interview!  Hell, hath no fury like a lied to Oprah.  Just ask James Frey!   An interesting side note:  Back in 2006, Sarah was represented by the same sleazy, crooked Greenberg Traurig lawyer that repped me.  Perhaps, he also had a hand in her financial demise!

The November elections are going to be very interesting and will hopefully shed some of the dead weight that is currently occupying space in the House and Senate!  It is incomprehensible how Congress could’ve taken a 10 DAY VACATION in the midst of millions of people losing their unemployment benefits!  It was a move that was very  ill-conceived for any Senator that actually wants to retain his seat!  To have been so callous as to actually be vacationing while people are losing their lifelines, is a move that will be duly noted by the people at the polls in November.  The same importance should’ve been placed on this issue as it was on the health care debate as it is far more urgent and pressing.  It is time for us to make a host of Representatives and Senators redundant.  They have shown us time and time again that they do not care about the American people and are simply taking up space at this point.

If Heidi Montag has finally rid herself of that “Pratt” Spencer, it will be the smartest career move she has made recently!  Too bad she can’t undo the mess she’s made of her face and body!

Still in disbelief over the American Idol results!  I predict that, once again, the second place winner Crystal Bowersox will far exceed the so-called winner in terms of success!  Crystal has a rare and unique talent while Lee DeWyze is an ok singer, but just not nearly as talented or memorable.  And it is definitely time to pull the plug on this franchise!  Most fans I talked to don’t like Karla, think Without Simon Cowell there is no American Idol; I certainly will not watch it!   There is rumor that Bret Michaels is being considered to replace Simon but that would be a cheesy mistake.  Note to Bret: If you wanna be a judge, I have a show idea that you would be far more appropriate for, as a judge, than Idol!  Idol needs someone a bit more serious and unknown.

Speaking of Bret Michaels, dude, take a rest already!  I watched the Celebrity Apprentice finale through my fingers, afraid that he might pop off at any minute!  Really, to be bopping all over the country right after a brain hemorrhage is playing Russian Roulette with your Life!  Think of your family and take the rest you need to.  There will always be another reality show opportunity.

Was verrrry disappointed with the new Sex and the City II, which I thought was going to be THE TGATP summer film!  It is definitely time to retire this franchise and I prefer to remember the story as ending after the first movie.

RIP Gary Coleman.  Since his last few years seemed marred by a lot of anger, I hope he finds more happiness in the afterlife than he seemed to have experienced in his time on Earth.

And finally, just saw Belinda Carlisle on Good Morning America!  Looking forward to reading her new book, “Lips Unsealed” and checking her out on the Go-Go’s Farewell Tour!

That Girl At the Party

I am a proud blogger of 11 years, Founder of Canappetit, PR person, Web and Cannabis Entrepreneur, Founder of the LTN Card, the Let Love Festival and the Henley Foundation, aunt to 12 and human to Bodhi and Yoko Rey

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