Although I am not Jewish, Yom Kippur is a holiday that we can all benefit from observing. The Day of Atonement, which ushers in the fall season, is always a great time to access the year and plan for the next one. Today I reflect on the year’s major lesson, which was to eliminate all outside negativity and return to the core of my being.
When I started That Girl At The Party, six years ago, it was a joyous experience. I worshipped Matt Mullenweg for the invention of WordPress, that changed my Life and allowed me to have my very own media platform. A writer and an avid magazine reader since childhood, the wonder of being able to write about anything I wanted and self-publish it, was a dream come true. Initially I started out, like Guest of A Guest, as a society page covering all the galas and launches and other alcohol fueled parties. But after the first year, I decided that my partying days were over. I pivoted and turned TGATP into the online magazine I had always wanted it to be. Not a fashion blog or a beauty blog or a travel blog or a tech blog – TGATP would be an online magazine covering all the lifestyle categories that I Love.
But there were two major problems. First, every blogger and/or person that I knew, decided that their blog was going to be TGATP too. And secondly, as I grew more successful, the haters came in many forms. There were the partycrashing loonies – these people were so crazy they were jumping up taking pictures of me on buses – obnoxious and racist PR people and one very crazy female photog, that everyone refers to as “the pappanazi”, all doing their darndest to make my Life miserable. From repeatedly lying about and harassing me both off and online, to claiming I “got what I deserved” when my Mama was killed – every vestige of Joy was slowly being sapped out of owning the site by all these toxic people. The whole situation came to a head this year, when an unhinged admin allowed a host of these people to cyberbully, stalk and defame my 25-year media career on her supposedly professional PR, Media and Marketing Facebook group, all because I started my own FB group. It was so bad that I had to file a police report and I lamented for weeks. But then, as it always does, the Spirit showed up and what was meant for my harm actually produced great beauty and clarity.
After months of worrying about them, I realized that none of these people matter unless I care about them and with that came the revelation, that I don’t. Because starting TGATP or any of my other endeavors was never about anyone else. The whole purpose was for me to own an online magazine and I do. So if a looney is hating on me or a handful of bad PR people are not properly repping their clients and engaging in high school type cyberbullying, it has no bearing on the original motivation for the site. I can still write about what I want to. And best of all, all of the unsavory people rose to the surface and exposed themselves as people I needed to not associate with.
TGATP will continue to flourish and I will continue to cover the wonderful places and things that I experience and use. The Joy is back, in abundance, because I realized that I needed to go back to the core, the reason that I started TGATP, way before I allowed any of these people in. And that reason was to write about things I care about and products I love. Period. This is my business and my forum, and it is not dictated by the whims of PR people or other unseamly characters.
In this age of social media and reality TV, there are tons of misguided people, who are living their lives as if they are back in high school. Our constant connection through Facebook, Instagram and Twitter has also given people the false impression that they actually know each other personally. Really think about it. Do you truly know anything about most of your Facebook friends? Do you know their complete resumes? Not really.
I recount all this to advise, you dear readers, to stay your course and never let other people steal your Joy. Always remember the “why” of what you are doing. As the beloved Wayne Dyer used to say, “Don’t die with yout music still in you.” Go to you true core and do you, because no one else can. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks, because only you know your true Self and only you can Love yourself into creating a beautiful Life. All of us are here to reach our own highest potential and dance to our own music. Be kind and avoid pettiness. Dream big and leave a positive mark on the world. I certainly plan to.