Ah, the Golden Globes hosted by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association as a precursor to the Oscars; where to start?  This year was surprisingly a bit if a yawn!  Even with Ricky Gervais hosting, TGATP was half-sleep by the end of it.  Loved Ricky’s Mel Gibson barb, which was completely hilarious and Paul McCartney looked less than amused by the quip about the fleecing he took from his gold-diggin’ ex, Heather Mills!  And if Hollywood doesn’t stop lauding “Precious” that triflin’ cinematic hate crime on Black Women, I am gonna lose my lunch!  When are Black actors and actresses going to win awards for roles that do not involve them portraying hoodlums, con artists, and or/criminals (Whoopi Goldberg in “Ghost” and Denzel Washington in “Training Day), bad mothers with crazed sex drives (Halle Berry in “Monster’s Ball) and trifling ghetto messes (Mo’Nique and the nominated Gabourey Sidibe in the dreadful “Precious”)?!  With two beautiful, dignified African-Americans in the White House, are we ever going to see an intelligent portrayal by a Black actor or actress soon?  It’s like Hollywood is still a hundred years behind the rest of the world!  And I am truly horrified and embarrassed by all the Black folks who are buying into the hype about this monstrosity!  It’s time that people woke up to the fact that these images are sent around the world and define us!  Lee Daniels needs to be bitch slapped! Hard. Twice.  At least, there have been some advancements on the gender front. The older woman has truly come into her own as a sex symbol, as the seasoned actresses literally stole the show in the hotness department from their younger counterparts!  From Sophia Loren and Helen Mirren, to Glenn Close, Meryl Streep, and Signourey Weaver, they were all glamorous inspirations!   The one exception was the once gorgeous Jessica Lange, who seems to have jacked her face up forever with far too much Botox and/or plastic surgery in the eye area.  Or maybe it’s just her meanness coming out in her features like that episode of the “Twilight Zone” where the folks put on the contorted masks that match their personalities and then can’t change their faces back!

As for the fashion, you could slap a big ole’ black bar across the faces of a whole bunch of folks, this year!  There was just a steady parade of either partial or complete fashion don’ts!  And speaking of the “Golden Globes”, everybody had their ta-tas out!  Worse offender on that front was Mariah Carey!  She really needs to stop with the porn star wear!  It’s just too much already!   Best display of cleavage goes to Halle Berry, who was just flawless.

The TGATP picks for best-dressed are:

Meryl Streep in unknown designer – Dress very simple but Meryl just exuded the confidence that only comes with age.  She looked lovely and happy.  Loved the black dress with the ruby red lips but I would’ve done a different belt.

Sigourney Weaver in Herve Larue (formerly “Leger”) – Put many of the younger stars to shame in her luscious jeweled toned dress.

Amy Poehler in Jay Godgrey – Exuded 40’s film star glamor!  Adorable with hubby!

Sandra Bullock in Bottega Veneta – Emerald toned almost perfection but for the view of the leg underneath.  Fantastic hair though.

Courtney Cox in (who knew she had real design talent?) Victoria Beckham – Completely stunning.

Carey Mulligan in Nina Ricci – Loved her simple and understated gown in Navy

Drew Barrymore in Atelier Versace – Lovely dress but really could’ve lost the weird growth of fabric coming off the hip.  The shoulder was enough.

Helen Mirren in unnamed designer – Black elegance!  Sick body on an older woman!   We should all be that blessed!

Glenn Close in Oscar De La Renta – Another older woman that has a body to die for!  Tanned and beautiful in shimmery black!

Jennifer Garner in Atelier Versace – Perfect movie star look.

Halle Berry in Kaufman Franco  – Halle is always the best-dressed woman in the room!  The only thing this look needed was her hottest accessory – that gorgeous Gabriel Aubry!

Kate Hudson in Marchesa – Sheer elegance.  Gorgeous neckline.

Jamie Pressley – Lana Turner reincarnated.  Star perfection from head to toe.

Kate Winslet in Yves St Laurent – Kate is another one that is just always classy.

Rose Byrne in Lanvin – Purple simplicity with lovely jewels.

Olivia Wilde in Gucci – Olivia always looks great and is a big sweetie!  Loved, loved, loved the hair which was the best of the night!  Just mega-Hollywood sexy!

Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani Prive – Movie star perfect from head to toe.  The dress, hair, and makeup were all flawless!

And the screaming atrocities were:

Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli  - Heidi your stylist needed to be  “AUF!”   Dress is ok but the hair should’ve been up!

Mariah Carey in Herve Leger – Nice dress but waaaaaayyy TMI on the ta-ta front!

Julia Roberts in Yves St. Laurent – Far too casual for a formal event.  Looked like she on a date night with Danny.  Great hair and necklace though.

January Jones in Lanvin – WTF was with the hair and that stupid headband!  It looked like what I use to put my hair back before washing my face at night!

Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera – Needed about 4 feet more fabric! Too short for formal evening.

Zoe Saldana in Louis Vuitton – Like Scarlett in “Gone With the Wind”, she made this from the hotel drapes!

Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci – Never a big fan of white on white!  Nicole looked like she truly was one of “The Others”! Far too ghostly!

Julianne Moore in Balenciaga – Looked like poodle fur on her neckline which

Tea Leoni in unnamed designer – Too casual.  Looked like she rolled out of bed (well David IS a sex addict after all!) was running behind, and borrowed David’s shirt

Chloe Sevigny in Valentino – Looked like she got eaten by a giant ruffle! And the hair was a bore!  But then Chloe rarely gets it right.

Patricia Arquette in unnamed designer – Bad dress and hair day!

Julianna Marquiles in Tom Ford – Looked like it was made for a formal event on the Star Trek Enterprise.  Gosh awful!

Elizabeth Moss – Three words:  Complete hot mess!

Cher in unnamed designer – Looked like Elvira!  Gothic awful dress and horribly obvious wig!  Her body is still tight though!

Jessica Lange - Horrible!

Tina Fey in Zac Posen – Was she auditioning for the movie version of  Broadway’s“Mary Poppins”?? Kept waiting for her to break into song and take to the skies!

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